not a necessity

is not a necessity to be nice if your beneficence only brings pain to me
is not a must to be nice if it doesn't bring any pleasant to other
i am between two option to choose about
but i think that it may be so like this
now i am enjoying my time, i can try to be a little bit egoist, taking care myself, do what i like
i stay away, talk little, keep in a distance to cooling down myself, it takes time
and then, i hope i could get used to it next day
the problem is not with you, or others, but the problem is with me myself
goshh...this time, i do really hate to be sensitive, it is killing me from inside
i just care about a thing that called friendship..
but sometimes, my effort doesn't look good, or maybe it is not proper...hmnnn
and sometimes it is not always really good when you try to be nice at every occasion
how do you think??

can we just talk? we really need to talk...